Suffering Well

New Work:

"PS 30:5"

30x40 Canvas, Mixed Media

I am going on day 8 of a major flare-up.  I've only been able to lay in bed. Literally.  I can't pick up my precious baby, can't cook for my sweet husband and of course, any other daily activities have been out the window too.  I've definitely been in this place before pain-wise, but being here now that we have a son is a different story.  I'm so blessed to be a stay-at-home mommy and I've been with him everyday, almost all day since he was born.  So not being able to care for him, or just hang out, snuggle and play with him all day is the most difficult aspect of this injury yet.  My in-laws had already scheduled a visit last week and my MIL decided to stay and help me upon seeing my condition- thank you Lord!  She is watching the little guy, cooking, cleaning, ironing, grocery shopping.... you name it, she's doing it!  I praise God for her!

Many of my painful days have led me straight to the foot of the cross.  Sometimes I'm begging for relief from the pain, sometimes I'm begging God to heal me miraculously, and yes, sometimes I ask why I have to be going through this.  In the past, the pain has been so great that I'm not able to do much "spiritual work" because pain has a tendency to make it difficult to really think through or focus on deep issues.  But, this time around, God has allowed me a clear mind and I am so grateful for it.  I know that the Bible says that all things work together for good for those who love Him.  All things.  All.  Even pain.  Even suffering. Although it's not a hot topic in many pulpits, I have heard some awesome sermons about suffering on different podcasts.  Last night, I listened to one that I'm still mulling through (and want to listen to again).  The pastor made the point that suffering is an opportunity for us to learn something if we look to Jesus in our time of trial.

My own pastor spoke about something similar years ago.  He used the metaphor that trials are like little wrapped presents from God.  Each package comes with a handwritten tag, like "Patience", "Understanding", "Love", etc.  If we are willing to accept the gift and open the package, we will gain insight and perhaps grow closer to God through the difficult time.  Sounds so simple, right?  Sure it does, except for the fact that none of us wants to suffer.  And even though the idea of just "opening the package" sounds innocent and even a little sweet, we all know that trials of life are far from sweet or innocent.  I think in our American culture we are conditioned to do everything possible to try and avoid suffering.  We work out and eat right to avoid illness.  We work hard to build careers so we don't experience poverty.  We buy self-help books on relationships so we don't have conflict with other people.  We have a tendency to feel as if we can control the future by our daily actions.  But all of us experience suffering.  We all do.  Some of us suffer physically, some mentally, some emotionally, but we all do.  Uplifting, huh???  Haha... sorry for the "good" news.  But here is something good: when we suffer, if we do it well, we can grow more in the likeness of Him who suffered most to save us from eternal damnation.  When I think about laying in my comfortable bed, with my comfortable sweats, with my MIL cooking good food and taking such great care of my healthy son... it doesn't even begin to compare to the pain and suffering Jesus endured in those final days of His life.  And with every step up that mount to His own crucifixion, I have no doubt He was thinking of you, of me, of all of us He loved enough to die for.

Although it was difficult to do, He willingly made that choice to accept the suffering for the greater good it would do.  And in our suffering, in my suffering, I have that same choice.  But I do choose to endeavor to "Suffer well" and want more than anything for God's glory to be shown through my utter weakness.

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."  C.S. Lewis